Beaver Ice Cream or Not

Making the rounds is a news-report that, under F.D.A. vocabulary rules, "natural flavors" includes crushed anal sac of beaver, which, or so it seems, tastes like vanilla.

We wondered what perverted genius discovered this fact and figured out it must not have been a genius at all but rather a hungry Métis in the watery outback of Canada. 

"Waste not Want Not," said Good Richard and true to God, Industrial Food Production wastes nothing.  There is not shit for a pig sty that isn't turned into lipstick, food for Fido, or some "natural flavour".  And... if we eat brains, gizzards, tongue and "the-devil-himself-knoweth-not-what's-in-it" hot dogs, what's so awful about beaver asshole anyway? I mean it's probably boiled before use, isn't it?

Still the notion didn't sit well with me, in no small measure because, since being in Cascadia, i've acquired a profound respect for beavers... the Palladios, Frank Lloyd Wrights and Calatrava's of the animal world.  Everywhere we walk we see signs of beaver industry and art.

Killing such wonderful creatures because their assholes smell sweet seems dastardly and morally repulsive.  So no more Bryers.

The local Community Coop sells among other things a gelato style ice-cream called Talentis.  I particularly like their pistachio.  The ingredients are: milk, cream, sugar, pistachios, guar gum (which is made from a bean). That's as basic as it gets.  The only problem is that, unless it's on sale, Talenti's cost $5.50 a pint. I can make chocolate ice-cream for approximately $4.00 a quart.

A while back i bought a Cuisinart ice cream maker in excellent shape at Goodwill for $12.00 and for a while was making my own ice cream and sorbet.  It's pretty easy and doesn't take that much time.  But my sweet tooth is matched only be my lazy streak... ergo factory ice cream with all natural ingredients.

Jamais encore!!!  So this evening more to prove a point than anything else, i went back to making my own ice cream.  Once the whole thing was blended, i discovered i was out of vanilla.  Darn!  But fortunately, around these parts, its a piece of cake to snatch a beaver. .....